Best wishes for Mother's Day!

Ah, Mother's Day--day of expectations and memories.  I sort of wish we could do away with it, but that is probably just selfish.  It makes me uncomfortable for my praises to be sung at any time and in any way.  Having them sung simply because I am a woman and mother (so generic!) means I have no qualms about simply wanting to hide.  Do I have to be gracious about generic praise?  I think not.

Phrases that are particular pet peeves:  (to me) "You should get a break--it is mother's day!"  (to the kids) "You should make it special--it is mother's day,"  (to men) "Show your love and appreciation--it is mother's day."   Shouldn't we help, love and appreciate mothers every day?  Shouldn't moms feel okay about taking a break any day and every day?  It is like the existence of Mother's Day gives people leave to recognize women just once a year.  I'm afraid I'm being cynical.  My family doesn't only love and appreciate me on Mother's Day.  They are reasonably great all year.  I am quite satisfied.  So why have Mother's Day at all?

Two moments to share:

The primary sang in Sacrament meeting today.  My kids pushed their way to the front and were very cute as they hugged and poked each other and waved at me.  They were happy with their singing.  When they sat back down, Ethan asked me "Mom, did you cry when we sang to you?"  "No," I replied.  "Should I have?"  "Well," he responded, "the music director said we should sing loudly to make the moms cry.  I guess I'll just have to kick you in the shins, instead."  I laughed out loud at his idea, but was also annoyed by the expectations people set up for mother's day.  Why do I have to cry?  I had just lost my temper with my kids 20 minutes before, as I tried to get them all out of the baths and into the car so we would be on time for church.  (We weren't.)  I wasn't feeling great poignancy or tenderness.  I was still a little stressed and annoyed.

In our ward on Mother's Day, the men take over all the women's responsibilities for the third hour of church so the women can go to Relief Society where a special "Mother/Woman Appreciation" lesson is taught and some special dessert is handed around.  Today, I didn't want to go to Relief Society.  I didn't want to hear another lesson with generic praise and words of affirmation and encouragement.  I wanted to sit quietly, all by myself, and pray or contemplate or just be.  Either that, or run home and clean the kitchen which had been left an absolute disaster by the kid's efforts to create a "special" mother's day.    Upon being pushed out the door of nursery, I did dutifully make my way to the Relief Society meeting, but I just couldn't bear to stay after the song (a sappy sentimental one sung by two young women).  I resorted to the Mother's lounge, hoping it would be empty.  It wasn't, but I didn't worry too much about what my friend Charity (who was there) would think when I just plunked myself down and closed my eyes and cried.  It was good to be still.  It was good to cry.