Baptism and Resurrection

Last night I was pondering on what I would like to teach my children about life, themselves, and happiness.  As a perfectionist, it has been important for me to learn that being imperfect doesn't mean I am failing in this life.  In fact, my imperfections are a necessary part of this life.  I thought again about Sue's words: I  fight weakness, anger, discouragement, depression . . . I feel that those things don’t mean I am failing. I am allowed the time and lastingness to be instructed a little deeper in ways of holiness.  I often felt, when depressed, angry, impatient, and seeing the world darkly, that it was as though a skin of darkness had overshrouded me.  Who I was inside hated feeling, seeing, acting in those ways, but felt powerless to overcome it.  I tried, and there were moments of break-through, but it became very clear that I couldn't escape it with my own power alone.  I thought of the scene in Voyage of the Dawn Treader (I'm looking forward to that movie!) where Eustace becomes a dragon.  Aslan comes to him, and tells him to take off the dragon skin, and he thinks he can--he tries repeatedly, but what he can get off are only token layers.  Aslan alone has the power to extract him from the skin, and with a horrible rip from a huge claw, he does, and washes Eustace in a clear pool and clothes him in white.

I've always thought of that as baptism imagery, and of the dragon skin as being the physical symbol of Eustace's sins.  Only Christ can take away our sins.  However, baptism is a symbol of more than being washed and made clean from sins.  It is a symbol of our death and resurrection.  It is the burial of the natural man and the birth of our "saintly" selves.  As I pondered, I felt that it can also symbolize (as can CS Lewis's imagery) the death of our mortal, fallen physical bodies and the taking up of our perfect, celestial physical bodies.  I think there really is sin in this flesh, somehow.  We were given a body we couldn't make perfect, no matter how hard we try.

Nephi said: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.


The fallen body is part of the plan, though.  There is a need for opposition in all things, and we need to learn to trust in God.  And there is great power in the flesh.  We know that beings with bodies have power over beings without bodies--flesh is powerful!  It makes our spirits very, very strong to have to wrestle with our natural man, to bring our body into submission.  Maybe that is why I like fasting so much--it gives my spirit a rest, a chance to be still and commune with God.

Alzheimers is interesting in this context, too.  Truly, it puts on display the power of the body, when that power is gone.  The workings of our spirit can't make up for the failings of our bodies.  It makes me think of cell phones and sim cards.  If the cell phone doesn't work, having all your contacts saved on the sim card (as well as the phone) still doesn't help.   You'd have to put the sim card in another cell phone, or computer, to access its memory.  Dad's spirit will have to wait for another body to be able to express itself fully again, and regain its full functionality and purpose.  Just as with technology, we come to rely on what is imperfect and bound to fail at some point or another, for some reason or another.  We can be grateful for the times when it works the way we want it to, but can't really be surprised when it doesn't.  Alzheimers is only one example of how our bodies "fail" us, but there are innumerable ways, really, and they are utterly unavoidable.  Everything from lack of sleep and hunger to depression, mental illnesses, autism and brain damage, physical illnesses like cancer,  epilepsy, arthritis, heart conditions, bowl conditions, multiple sclerosis, Neurofibromatosis (there is a new one for our family), etc, etc, etc.  Having a body that is imperfect is a part of human existence.  


Happily, thanks to the gospel, we know that it is temporary, and that the work we need to do on earth can be done even when our bodies fail us.  And having a body that fails us doesn't mean that we are failing, only that we are human.  I don't even think it means that we are failing the people around us, when we can't do what we want to do because of Alzheimers or cancer or lack of sleep or whatever.  We all carry each other's burdens (particularly the burden of humanity, and imperfection) and get stronger individually and collectively that way.  I think our imperfections are part of the plan for others as well as for ourselves.  Not fun, not "ideal," but not cause for despair, either.  Of course, the reason that we can be irreconcilably imperfect and not be failing ourselves and others every moment is because of the atonement of Jesus Christ.  He reconciles us where we are totally unable to.  He can deliver us from the dragon skin, and draw us, whole, perfect and pure, unto him.  He can heal the wounds and bind up the broken hearts that we leave in the wake of our imperfect, failing bodies.  All can be made right, and this time is given to us not to fail, but to try, to work, to prepare, to become, to draw strength from Him and come unto Him.  Ah!  What a relief!


That said, I do, of course, think it is possible to sin, and to "fail" ourselves if we refuse to try, work, become, etc, and instead embrace what is fallen and evil, or allow ourselves to wallow in the misery of an imperfect body.  That isn't usually my issue, though.