I've been listening to Becoming Enlightened, by the Dalai Lama as we drive in the car (Ethan wondered why, and we had an interesting discussion about finding truth in many places). I recently reflected on a passage in which he describes how what is now and what seems pleasurable in the moment are illusions. He defines "illusion" as something that we believe to be real and lasting, but is, in fact, only transitory and part of a much bigger picture. The "pleasures" that we frequently take pleasure in--sitting down after a long day on our feet, eating after being hungry, etc.--are illusions, because their pleasant nature cannot last. If you sit down for long enough, or eat for long enough, it is no longer pleasant. (I'm not sure I completely agree with their being "illusions," though. Of course something is lost in the translation, but I think it is good to recognize and be grateful for the chance to sit down, and to eat, and that it is a real pleasure, even if it only lasts for a short while, but anyway, I actually do agree with what he goes on to explain.)The Dalai Lama then explains that until we progress beyond desiring what is illusory, we cannot achieve enlightenment. If we recognize, however, what is an illusion, versus what is real (inner peace, harmony with the universe, respect and charity for all sentient beings), then we will desire and work toward what brings lasting pleasure and peace. Jesus taught the same when he said: "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." and "I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst." (I love the symbolism in that--Christ takes what we know we need and what we spend our time thinking about/desiring (bread and water) and "eternalizes" it--uses it to represent what is real and lasting rather than only what is "illusory/temporal." We cannot be truly satisfied with what is a temporary pleasure, but we can be wholly satisfied when we desire and partake of what is eternal.)
Sarah used to have a quote on her mirror that said "Don't give up what you want most for what you want now" or something to that effect. I think that is a great way of summing up the idea both Buddha and Christ tried to teach. Our momentary desires (for another piece of chocolate, or staying up to watch a banal movie, or whatever our temptations are) keep us from having what we want most, and which will bring lasting joy (a fit body, a mild temper, inner peace /harmony with the universe/success in our relationships.)
As Sam and I were discussing our individual goals a couple of days ago, we talked about how hard it is to get the "supremely fit" bodies we want, because the momentary pleasure of whatever (relaxing instead of exercising, eating cookies for breakfast, etc.) looks so good. I recalled the learning I related above to him and we decided that it is acceptable (even if it is not very fun) to sacrifice what we want now for what we want most. Maybe we'll put that up on our mirror, too.
Afterwards, there were still two issues I was left to ponder: 1) How do we know when a sacrifice is getting us to what we want most? When I was sacrificing sleep and personal time and social activities and everything to keep Isaac safe, was that wise? I think not, now. I think surely there must have been a way to protect him without ignoring all my needs. How could I re-frame my thinking to make the decision about what to sacrifice and what not to sacrifice more obvious? 2) How do we know when it is okay to enjoy what we want now? (Maybe this is the same question.) For example, if what I want now is a chocolate bar, maybe that is more obviously not going to get what I want most (a trim body) than if what I want now is, say, a shower. Both are temporary pleasures, but I think the latter actually may get me closer to my desires for lasting happiness, in some way. It is good to engage in self care. It is good to enjoy life. But it is sometimes hard to differentiate between the temporary pleasures that are part of the eternal whole and the temporary pleasures that are mirages, and will really bring unhappiness. And it is often easy to justify. Is it really wrong to enjoy a dessert? I do have to eat, and it is nice to enjoy what I eat, but when does that interfere with my long-term goal? Is it a matter of correctly identifying needs vs. wants? You can never get enough of what you don't need, but you can get enough of what you do. . .
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