Mother's Retreat Journal Entry Week #6

Does my own family get my brightest light, or do I put my best efforts in shining only when I am in public?

In short, yes, and no.  ;-)  That is, I am almost exclusively within my home and with my children.  I don’t know of another place in which I can shine.  At church, I guess, or with friends/people I serve.  But I think I have an easier time loving my family than I do other people.  And I have to remember to be as generous with others as I am with my family.  Still, I don’t feel like my family gets my brightest light, not because I am letting it shine elsewhere, but because my light just seems rather dim.  I want to be brighter for them.  I would love to be able to teach my children and help them learn and progress spiritually, physically, emotionally and socially (the mentally part is easy, and I have to remember not always to focus on that.) As I have prayed, I know that the best way to teach them and help them make progress is by being an example.  But I’m not sure I’m a great example of physical, emotional, social or spiritual greatness.  I try in all areas.  But I’m not great.  I have a little flashlight, not a light house.  There is always so much progress to be made!

Here is what I do have:

Spiritually: I pray and receive revelation (almost) daily.  I love to read the words of the Lord, in scriptures, conference, books, etc. I love to go to the temple and try to go weekly.  I have a testimony and enjoy sharing it.  I want to know and do the will of the Lord.

Physically: I eat as healthfully as I know how/reasonably can.  I enjoy exercise and being healthy/strong.  I am grateful for a good body and the things it can do.  I keep myself neat and well groomed.

Socially: I enjoy people and have friends.  I seek to help those in need.  Seek out social opportunities, and frequently invite people to our home. 

Emotionally: I’ve had to learn a lot of new emotional habits in order to get over depression.  I am doing better emotionally now, and try to point out unhealthy emotional habits when I see them in my children.  I do things that I enjoy and things that I don’t enjoy. I believe my needs are valid and worth taking care of.