Fast Sunday

Fasting has worked its beautiful magic on my soul today, for the first time in well over a year, and I am so grateful and glad.  The power to subdue my physical body, which body seems to cloud my perspective and darken my vision so much of late, is  precious.  Nearly whatever is ailing me seems to be cured by fasting, whether PMS, depression, myopia or impatience.  This afternoon I experienced that quiet respite as I sat holding Isaac, who had fallen asleep on my chest as I rocked.  Our days in the NICU were recalled and I felt again that deep sweet peace of simply being able to hold my baby.  My impatience about his current treatments faded, and I was blessed with perspective--all will be well whether his surgery is next week or in a month.  He will learn to walk, and will grow up capable and happy.

I sat there, feeling my physical nature subdued and my spiritual nature stronger, and was glad.  I hope I have learned a lot from this particular episode of depression.  "Constant nourishment to mind and body" is something I haven't attended to very diligently before, and I have felt the consequence.  In fasting, it felt as though I had "reset" my physical nature, and can start again and do better.  I've seen and felt the need for fun and recreation as well as work, and for quiet times, too.  Surely play is balancing and nourishing to the soul and to our relationships as much as work is.  Some come from the angle of having to learn to value work, as they only like play.  I've come from the other (equally unhealthy?) side.  I will certainly be a better mother if I can show by my actions that I value play!

Today I shared my testimony of gratitude and how it is an exercise of faith, and a principle of happiness.  It helps us to get through hard times without losing our Foundation and peace and joy.  I've been very grateful for that principle, to get me through hard times in the last couple of years.  I also shared (again?) the experience of my breaking heart, in the NICU, not knowing when I would get to hold my baby, and not knowing if I could stand the wait any longer.  I cried to the Lord in pain and sorrow, and in two days, my baby, whose lungs had been full of fluid (?) and pneumonia cleared up and he was able to get off the ventilator and I was able to hold him.  It was such a sweet, joyful time.  

Well, I'm off to FHE, now, after a delicious nap this afternoon.  It has been a peaceful Sunday!