Consistent and Reliable

General Conference was wonderful, and I was grateful for the Spirit and the things I learned.

One of my important take-aways is that it is time for me to learn to be consistent and reliable.  Yikes.  Self-control and self-discipline are virtues I have never practiced enough to feel very good at.  The thought of being really consistent and reliable feels like having blinders put on, or being corralled into a very tight space. It isn't all that pleasant.  However, I believe that if I was to get myself to the point of being consistent and reliable, I would like and appreciate it.  

So right now, I am in the stage of "praying to want to," as my mom taught me to do.  She once drew me as a wild horse (and she was the harried handler); I still have something of the wild horse in me, I think.  Rules and schedules and consistency scare me sort of like eternity does--my mind does not yet fathom how it can all work.  Life is so capricious!  How can I be consistent in the face of the wild wind or surging sea?  It will take stronger stuff than that of which I am now made, I think.  Justification and rationalization have been more my style.

A while back, we visited the Oquirrh Mountain temple.  It is surrounded by a beautiful community called "Daybreak."  It is heavenly.  The roads radiate out from the temple like spokes of a wheel, the houses are all handsomely architected (with nary a street-facing garage among them), the lawns are perfect, the green spaces (along roads) are beautifully maintained and inviting, and there is a lake and there are play structures everywhere, all schools are within walking distance, there is the most amazingly beautiful spirit about the place and. . . wow.  It was so appealing I thought moving to Utah permanently might be a possibility.  

While we were there, I spoke with a woman at the lake and asked if she lived there.  She said she didn't, but  she brought her kids there from a ways away, because it was such a wonderful place to be.  She said they'd thought about buying a home there, but she figured there must be sooo many neighborhood ordinances that she just wouldn't be able to manage it.  I totally understood.  Keeping an immaculate yard and house are not something I really do.  Moving into a place that forced me to do it would be uncomfortable.  It made me think, though, that heaven must be the same way.  The more "ordinances" you are willing to keep, the nicer your heavenly neighborhood, because you live with people who also keep those ordinances.   The laws you are willing to abide by determines where you feel comfortable living, and what sort of a place that is.

With that thought, learning to be consistent and reliable seems even more important.  What will I miss out on in the next life if I don't learn to be consistent here?

Next, I need to figure out what is most important to me, so I can work on really being consistent and reliable in those things.  Sam gave me a worksheet for creating a personal constitution.  I think that would be a good start.  

I also, like I said, need help understand how.  Perhaps that will be clarified with the "what," but I don't know.  Anyway, that is where I am for now.