We all long to be wanted, needed, and important.
“Every person in the world likes to feel important. Men and women are glad when they feel
needed, and so are boys and girls. To know that someone depends on you and
believes that what you do and say really matters makes you feel good and want
to do your best.”
One of the beautiful truths of the restored gospel is that we are. The Proclamation to the World on the Family teaches: ". . . each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny." [emphasis added] The word "each" here is important to me. It singles us out and differentiates us. The world seeks to differentiate us by temporal means. Sam and I had the opportunity, a few years ago, to attend a Walmart gala in which the company's diversity goals were shared, and the fact that Walmart associates were "37% diverse," was touted. I thought "so does that make the other 63% clones?" The Lord knows us and sees us differently. "Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." 1 Sam 16:7 The Lord knows our individual abilities, talents, strengths, and desires. He knows and has a plan for each of us. One of the missions of our lives is to come to know what the Lord knows of us, to see what He sees in us, and to fulfill our individual nature and destiny.
We are sons and daughters of God. We have divine attributes.
“There is something of
divinity within each of you. You have such tremendous potential with that
quality as a part of your inherited nature. Every one of you was endowed by
your Father in Heaven with a tremendous capacity to do good in the world. Train
your minds and your hands that you may be equipped to serve well in the society
of which you are a part. Cultivate the art of being kind, of being thoughtful,
of being helpful. Refine within you the quality of mercy which comes as a part
of the divine attributes you have inherited.
Some of you may feel
that you are not as attractive and beautiful and glamorous as you would like to
be. Rise above any such feelings, cultivate the light you have within you, and
it will shine through as a radiant expression that will be seen by others.
You need never feel
inferior. You need never feel that you were born without talents or without
opportunities to give them expression. Cultivate whatever talents you have, and
they will grow and refine and become an expression of your true self
appreciated by others.”
We have divine gifts. D&C 46:11-12 “11 For all have not every agift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is
given a gift by the Spirit of God.12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.”
But we are all different. If God could be represented by a bright white light, and we all have some of His divine characteristics, we might be different colors of light. White light encompasses all colors of light, but we are still growing in our divinity. Some of us may be yellow light, or purple or green or red or blue. All the colors of light are beautiful and important. All are of God.
Satan wants us to believe otherwise. He tells us we "should" be certain ways, or have certain attributes. He shows us how others shine and, because our light is different, he would tell us our shining is less important or even worthless. As if one color in a rainbow is less valuable than another. With Satan's pernicious "should" he leads us to judge, reject, and condemn ourselves, others and whole situations. He leads us to devalue ourselves (and others) wrongly. He doesn't want us to see as Heavenly Father sees, and rejoice in our uniqueness. He wants us to see only darkness. Coming to know ourselves and our unique nature and destiny is important.
When I was a young woman growing up in Nashville, TN, I felt fairly confident about my individual worth and divine nature. I was one of only a handful of members of the Church in my high school and I felt grateful for the gospel and the values, knowledge and choices that set me apart. I was at the top of my class at a top-tier high school and I considered myself hard-working and intelligent. My sense of myself and my worth was pretty clear. Then I went to BYU. Suddenly, the light of the gospel that I had didn't seem to shine as brightly, as it was surrounded with 30,000 others. I struggled to know how to shine is such a crowd. I felt as if part of my worth and my self was diminished. Then I went on a study abroad trip to Mexico, teaching Spanish literacy. The people there thought I was pretty dumb. My Spanish was like a child's. I didn't know how to make tortillas or wash clothes in the river, and do any of the basics of sustaining life in a family. The 15 years of education that I had acquired, and which I felt were a very important and valuable part of me, were useless. In that setting, my education didn't matter at all. I felt so much of "myself" stripped away, I began to wonder who I was and what was valuable about my life.
Then I got married. I had majored in Family Sciences, because I knew that families were the most important work I would do in my life. It took me two months of marriage to realize I had no idea how to be married. And then I had a baby and OHH the humility! It took me even less time to realize I had no idea how to be a Mom! All the ways in which I had valued myself were gone. I did not feel smart, hard working, productive, or glowing with testimony. The things I thought I "should" have been able to do well--the most important things!--were far harder than I had anticipated, and I was not doing them well. I felt like a failure.
Luckily, during this time, I had some good examples in women around me who let their light shine. Deena Hollee decided to teach cooking classes to anyone in the neighborhood who wanted to take them. I learned to make sushi and have loved it ever since. My visiting teachee, Inge Reni, was an outstanding lady, too. She taught me, through her own trials, to praise the Lord in all things. She was from the Caribbean and she knew how to let her light shine. It was inspiring.
As the years have passed, I have had to rediscover my "nature and destiny" many times. I came to understand the important of learning the "mind of the Lord." Seeing myself as the Lord sees me is the only way to really uncover my nature and destiny. Learning to listen to what He wants from me, instead of listening to all the "shoulds" the world gives me is essential.
Previously, I thought that I could go to the Lord for personal revelation about some (big) things, but that I could really rely on all the "shoulds" of the world and even from the church to guide my life. We can learn many good things to do from others, but I quickly became overwhelmed with all the things I thought I "should" be doing or feeling, or how situations in my life "should" be. I would start the day with lists so long of all the things I "should" do, that I felt defeated before I even began. The "shoulds" ended up pulling me away from the Lord.
I wrote in my journal:
"The story of Mary and Martha (in Luke 10) also struck me as extremely pertinent as I considered these things:
38¶Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
Doubtless,
Martha wanted everything to be perfect when she received Jesus (and likely many
of his followers, too) into her home. She had expectations how clean it
“should” be, which foods “should” be prepared, etc., if she was anything like
me. And so, trying to fulfill all of her expectations about how she would
receive the Lord, she was "cumbered about much serving." She
must have been feeling stressed and unhappy when she went to Jesus and asked
him to bid Mary to help her. Her expectations weren't being met. She was
failing as a hostess! Jesus recognized this immediately, and called it
out. He said she was "careful and troubled" or worried and
unhappy about many things (all her expectations of herself, of the situation
and of Mary). As it turned out, though, and as Jesus told her, all her
"shoulds" were unnecessary Only "one thing is needful:
and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from
her." The one thing that Mary was doing--the one important,
necessary thing--the thing that Jesus wanted from both of them--was simply that
they come to Him and learn of Him and listen to Him. All of Martha's
expectations, preparations and worries were not required of the Lord. He
had not given her those "shoulds," she had gathered them herself, and
was not the better for it. The simple act of sitting at the Savior's
feet, however, was all that Mary was doing, and all that needed to be done, and
she was the better and happier for it.
If I can
recognize the "should's" that I give myself, and instead discover the
will of the Lord, or the things that I would like to be anxiously engaged in, I
believe I will be much happier. The Lord doesn't give busy work, he gives
us the work of life, and love and joy."
As we seek to better understand our individual, divine nature and destiny, and how the Lord would use us in His kingdom, I think it is important to be wary of "shoulds" about ourselves, others, or situations. So often, we make a "should" judgement based on our own mind, will, and word rather than the Lord's. Not every good thing "should" be attempted ever day of our lives. There were days, as a young mother, when things were so hard and I felt like such a failure. But when I went to the Lord and asked Him what He wanted of me, it was always do-able (unlike the expectations I had for myself.) Sometimes it was as simple as: "Today, love your children." I could do that, and I know it made Him happy when I did. We can and must go to the Lord to learn our nature and destiny.
Thanks to the restored gospel, we have wonderful resources for learning the mind, will, and word of the Lord for us. We have the Holy Ghost. Through prayer, scripture reading, listening to hymns or spontaneously we can receive daily, hourly, or moment by moment direction from Him. We can go to the Lord every day to learn what He would have us do that day. His expectations of us are perfect, for He knows us perfectly. He doesn't ask us to run faster than we have strength, and He knows how to utilize our strengths in joyful ways.
We also have priesthood blessings. I have received many priesthood blessings from my father and husband which have been instrumental in understanding my own nature and destiny.
D&C 68:4 And whatsoever they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost shall be scripture, shall be the will of the Lord, shall be the mind of the Lord, shall be the word of the Lord, shall be the voice of the Lord, and the power of God unto salvation.
Patriarchal blessings can also be a wonderful resource for knowing about ourselves. My patriarchal blessing is very clear about my nature, and helps me catch a vision of my destiny. Our Patriarchal Blessings can be like a
Liahona—guiding us individually in our earthly mission, helping us know our
selves better, and know how God sees us.
You can learn more about your life and mission on earth and the light that is in you by
preparing to receive and then studying your patriarchal blessing. Julie Beck April 2006 “You Have a Noble
Birthright.”
““Your patriarchal blessing is yours and yours alone. Your blessing . . .
is to be read. It is to be loved. It is to be followed. Your patriarchal blessing will see you through the darkest night. It
will guide you through life’s dangers. … Your patriarchal blessing is to you a personal Liahona to chart your
course and guide your way. …”
On Being Spiritually Prepared,
Thomas S. Monson, Liahona, Feb. 2010
I share my testimony that each of us has a divine nature and destiny, and that we must go to the Lord to learn it. Our understanding of our nature and worth will likely be challenged again and again, which helps us refine our understandings and go again to the Lord to know His mind and will. I believe the Lord does not want us to make assumptions about what we "should" do. He wants us to come to Him. Christ himself didn't live up to others' expectations. The whole Jewish nation believed the purpose of the Savior was to free them from Roman rule. Christ "failed" at that, but it didn't matter. He got his mission from his Father, not others' expectations. He fulfilled His mission on earth perfectly.
Because of the restored gospel, we know these things. We know we are beloved, unique, valuable children of God and He loves and knows us. I am so grateful for Joseph Smith's reliance on the Lord's guidance and his sacrifices to fulfill his nature and destiny, despite the opinions of men. I am grateful for modern prophets, for scriptures, for the gift of the Holy Ghost, for priesthood, and for my role as a daughter of God. I am grateful to have a knowledge of these things. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment